Choosing a Funeral Director
For most people, choosing a funeral director to organise the funeral of their loved one takes away the stress and makes plans simpler during a difficult time. It does come at a cost; however, most people feel it is important to have support and guidance at a time when trying to cope with emotions and responsibilities can seem overwhelming.
It is entirely your own decision how much involvement you choose to have, with some preferring the funeral director to have full autonomy and some choosing to make decisions themselves. Alternatively, you can express your wishes and the funeral director will take on all the work for you.
When choosing a funeral director, the first thing you will want to check is whether your loved one had a funeral plan in place which they may have already paid (or partially paid) for, as this might dictate which funeral directors are available to you. This information should be itemised within their will or in their paperwork. If you can’t find it but feel sure they had a funeral plan, the Funeral Planning Authority can assist you in locating this. Click here for a link to this service.
If your loved one did not have a funeral plan in place, you will want to check their will to see if any specific instructions were left with regards to their funeral arrangements. This will be within their paperwork and may be lodged with their solicitor.
Choosing a funeral director
If your loved one did not have a funeral plan or did not specify their wishes for a particular funeral director, then you will need to make that choice. If you have been to a funeral of a friend or associate where you were impressed with the professionalism or have had a family friend who has recently lost a loved one, you may wish to ask about their experience and if they would recommend their funeral director. If you or your loved one are affiliated with a particular faith, it may be a good idea to ask the local faith leader for any suggestions.
Supporting independent funeral directors might be something you wish to do. As they are not driven by company- wide targets their prices can often be more economical, meaning they can provide a more personal service going the extra mile to look after their client’s best interests.
You will want the funeral director you choose to be a member of a professional association such as the National Association of Funeral Directors or National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) . Some people choose to have an eco-friendly woodland funeral, contacts for this are the Association of Green Funeral Directors or the Natural Death Centre.
Questions, Questions, Questions
Before you agree to go with a particular funeral director you may wish to ask the following questions and compare options and prices. If price is something you are concerned about, don’t feel embarrassed to ask for a simpler or less expensive option. It is not a good idea to commit to a funeral that puts you in a difficult financial situation, the cost does not bear any reflection of your feelings towards your loved one. Funeral directors should happily answer your queries, as they understand this is a big decision. If they are reluctant to answer your questions or seemingly don’t have the time, this may tell you a lot about the service they offer…
Will you visit me at home, or do I need to come in?
What services do you provide?
Can we choose services or items from your list and just pay for the ones we choose?
Can we choose a date and does this affect the price?
· What do you advise on embalming if we want to see the person who has died or not? What proportion of bodies do you embalm?
Can we come and visit our loved one before the funeral? Or is the body kept elsewhere?
What do your charges include?
Are any items included in your quote optional or are there alternatives?
When do we pay the bill and what are the payment options?
Do we have to pay a deposit?
· Do you mark up above cost any of the products you sell in addition to charging your fees e.g. coffin, cars, flowers, celebrant, orders of service, bearers?
Are you comfortable delivering the choices we have discussed?
What choices of coffin do you offer, and can we buy a coffin or its equivalent from another source if we wish?
What transport do you offer, and can we provide our own transport if we wish?
Can friends or family members carry the coffin?
The quote
You may wish to have the quote broken down; this will ensure there aren’t any surprises in regard to additional items. Ask the funeral director to separate their fees from the external services (crematoriums, churches, doctors etc) so you can compare costs. This will also help you decide which items and services you wish to go ahead with or whether there are any items you may wish to source yourself.
Once you have decided
When you’re ready, contact the funeral director and ask them to come and collect the body of your loved one. You can ask them to come as soon as possible or wait a few hours should you wish to spend a little more time with your loved one (providing the circumstances are normal, this should be possible).
When the funeral director arrives, you may wish to step outside of the room if you do not wish to see the preparations or body being moved.
We hope you found this helpful and send our best wishes to you at this time.
You are not alone
We have partnered with Cruse bereavement and want you to know that they are there for you to offer bereavement support and advice.
Cruse is the UK’s leading bereavement charity reaching over 100,000 people across the UK each year. They offer support, advice and information to children, young people and adults when someone dies and work to enhance society’s care of bereaved people.
For immediate bereavement support contact their national helpline on 0808 808 1677
Children and young people can:
· Call the Freephone helpline on 0808 808 1677
· Visit their website designed by and for young people at www.hopeagain.org.uk or
· Email them at hopeagain@cruse.org.uk